When Leaving is Not an Option
We love a clean break.
The triumphant “I quit” story. The moment when everything falls apart and then magically comes together in the end. The relief of walking away, the clarity that follows, the applause for choosing yourself.
But what happens when walking away isn’t possible—or even right?
What if you can’t leave your job, your city, or your current circumstance just yet?
Discomfort, after all, isn’t always a sign to run.
Sometimes, it’s an invitation to pause. To look closer. To ask deeper questions.
Discomfort often makes us feel stuck—like we’re at the mercy of the situation.
When you’re in it, it can feel heavy. Disorienting. Like you’re no longer choosing your life, you’re just reacting to it. The job, the relationship, the routine—it all starts to feel like something happening to you rather than something you’re actively part of. You might catch yourself thinking, “How did I get here?” or “Is this really how things are going to be?”
I’ve been there.
I remember a time when I went from working remotely—free to choose my space, my schedule, my favorite café—to suddenly being required to go into an office five days a week. A cubicle. No sunlight. No flexibility. No movement.
I genuinely grieved the loss of freedom. I missed the energy I got from working in places that inspired me. I missed feeling like I had a say in how my day unfolded. Something in me felt stifled.
At first, I resisted hard. Every morning felt like a countdown to 5 p.m. I resented everything: the commute, the overhead lighting, and yes, even my coworkers at times. But eventually, I had to face the truth: leaving wasn’t an option—not in that season. And my resistance was only making it harder.
So I started asking a different question:
“How can I make this work for me?”
I explored the building and found a rooftop I could work from on nice days. I discovered a large open lounge with floor-to-ceiling windows and made that my alternate workspace whenever I could. I started to build small rituals into my day—warm oatmeal in the morning, my favorite playlists, and a version of my workspace at Tatte, my go-to café. I blocked off time on my calendar for a short midday walk, even if it was just 20 minutes around the block.
Little by little, I stopped focusing only on what I had lost and started noticing what I could still choose.
It made me feel like my situation was doable. It reminded me that even when I couldn’t change the situation, I could still change how I experienced it.
So how do you protect your mental health when staying is necessary?
It starts by reclaiming your power—little by little. Here are a few ways to do that when leaving your job, your city, or your current circumstance isn’t an immediate option:
1. Create Boundaries That Ground You
When you can’t control the larger environment, you can still protect your energy inside it.
Build “check-out” rituals after work. Change clothes, go for a walk, take a shower—whatever signals to your body that the day is done.
Block time on your calendar—even 15 minutes—for things that restore you (like a walk or journaling).
Notice who drains your energy, and limit unnecessary engagement with them.
And stop explaining your decision to stay to people who don’t understand. You don’t owe anyone a timeline.
💡 Mindset Shift:
Staying isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.
2. Zoom In—Small Moves Matter
When the big picture feels overwhelming or unchangeable, shift your focus.
Rearrange your desk.
Find new activities to do in your city or a neighboring one
Small changes can create small wins—and those stack up over time. These small acts remind you that you’re not completely stuck. You still have choices, even here.
3. Reconnect with Your “Why”
Hard seasons are easier to endure when they’re connected to something meaningful.
Is this job a stepping stone to a bigger opportunity?
Are you saving to fund a dream or support your family?
Are you here to learn something, even if it’s not what you expected?
🎯 Prompt to reflect on:
This situation is hard, but it’s helping me move toward ____.
Naming your purpose gives discomfort context. It doesn’t erase the challenge, but it can help you carry it with more clarity.
4. Anchor Yourself Outside of the Hard Place
You are more than this job. More than this season.
Invest in friendships outside of work.
Start a creative project or hobby that’s just for you.
Volunteer, take a class, move your body—do anything that reminds you who you are when the hard parts of your life feel loud.
🌱 Remember:
Hard places feel less suffocating when they’re not the only thing shaping your life.
Final Thought
Staying doesn’t mean giving up.
It doesn’t mean settling.
It means you’re choosing—for now—to work with what you have.
And that’s just as valid, just as brave, and just as important as leaving.
You can be in a hard place and still make it your own.
You can feel stuck and still move in small, meaningful ways.
You can choose to stay and still choose yourself.
